When All Your Plans Feel Derailed – September 5th

The journey moving into the house and store has been exhausting but still whispers the promise of long term creative projects and satisfaction- which is what we hope for.  I knew this journey would be one full of change, surprise, hard work and adventure; but you can never truly know what those things will feel like.  The family did so well for 7 weeks in a suitcase and without a home. I couldn’t have been more proud. The family worked as a team and the boys showed maturity and humor as individuals.  We rolled with with the punches and enjoyed the adventure. Leaving our home in Colorado, driving cross country, visiting friends in Virginia and New York CIty, seeing Washington DC and Williamsburg for the first time and our 2 weeks at the lake with family. By the time all that was done and we expected our belongings to arrive at the new house we were ready though.  And no truck.  One to two week delay.  We borrowed rollaway beds and slept in the cottage with no running water in sleeping bags. When we got the news that our truck would in 24 hours we were in the middle of painting the house.  We made the tough choice to put all our belongings in the barn once they arrived. Moving is exhausting- but having to move your things twice is incredibly disheartening.

I think it was the 2 weeks of having our belongings so close by, and yet living totally discombobulated, having the house draped in plastic, still not being able to use the kitchen or bathrooms that finally sapped my energy, and all of our humor  We were toasted, and things just didn’t seem to be going well.  The “map” I had made so many months before had come to a screeching halt.  The roads were blocked with unexpected construction and no detours.  We had every reason to be completely exhausted, but the delay is what mentally did us in.

There’s no hiding it.  The weeks that followed when we could barely muster the energy to finally move in were filled with crabbiness, short tempers and bickering.  It was a sad ending to a lovely run, but I am happy to say I think we are over the hardest.  The work will never end but we are safely tucked in our hollow and feel the rhythm of rest and life seeping in again.  It reminds me that a large part of being able to enjoy an adventurous journey is being able to return to your place of rest and familiarity.

I write this entry in the hopes of encouraging someone in the middle of a dark hour of transition and weariness.  Do not give up the vision of your long term goal in the midst of frayed nerves and no energy reserve.  If, at a better time you came to the conclusion that this was a good idea – your direction – trust it now.  Go to bed early with something undone.  Make a list to try to get things off your mind.  Remember the day of your wedding vows and try hard to see each other through those eyes. Take a walk – if only for 15 minutes down a path you love. We still have absolutely miles to go before we get to where we want to be – but we are past the worst – and right now that is what we needed.

As a side note I have a book suggestion: THE ORCHARD by Adelle Crockett Robertson.  It is a beautiful manuscript found by a daughter, after her mother’s death, that tells the story of her trying to save the family orchard during the Depression.  She is an honest, insightful writer that shores up the tired folks trying to stick to their dream of making their lives meaningful. It is written about Ipswich, MA, which is our neighboring town and features Essex, (our Rivers and Roads location) several times.  I highly recommend this beautiful book.


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